I have got back to my job for almost one month now. Besides re-adjusting myself to working in the office, I find myself once again expose to inevitable straits of human behaviour that often hinder our smooth road to success!
In this article, I have listed out six ways that we often subconsciously behave like big kids, and hence prevent ourselves from becoming successful.
Here are the six common mistakes that grown-ups make:
1. You do what you feel like doing, instead of what you ought to do.
When kids don’t want to sleep, you can’t force them to.
When kids refuse to eat a certain type of food, you can’t force them to.
When kids are bored of playing with a particular toy, you can’t force them to be interested in it.
In other words, kids do what they feel like doing.
Many grown-ups are like that too. They do what they feel like doing: watch YouTube videos for hours on end, use social media obsessively, or eat too much junk food. The list goes on.
They lack the discipline to do what they ought to: fulfill their responsibilities, work hard, honour their parents, etc.
No one’s perfect. But if we want to lead a meaningful life, we must have a sense of duty and commitment in the areas that matter.
2. You frequently complain, and rarely express gratitude.
Despite sacrificing my career for my son by staying home intermittently to take care of his needs, he never said “thank you”. In fact, he view it as something I ought to do as his mother.
I’ve noticed that some grown-ups aren’t thankful either, no matter how comfortable their life is. Somehow, they always manage to find something to complain about, whether it’s the weather, their spouse, their boss, or the government.
I’m not saying that we should never complain, but I am saying that we should cultivate a grateful spirit, not a complaining one. After all, gratitude is the foundation of happy relationships and a happy life.
3. You allow your circumstances to dictate your mood.
When my son had a bad day in school, he would suck and keep to himself, ignoring everything and everyone else around him. However, when he receives his birthday present, he will start to sing praises to everyone he sees!
Many grown-ups are like this too. If they’ve had a good day, and had enough sleep, and had a nice meal – they’ll be cheerful. But if things haven’t gone their way, or if they’re tired or hungry – they’ll be irritable and snappy.
If we want to find long-term happiness, however, we need to realise that happiness is a choice. We can choose to be joyful, regardless of our circumstances, not because of them.
4. You have a sense of entitlement.
Every day, my son behaves as if his parents owes him everything and he is entitled to all that we have given him, never say a word of thanks to us and expects more and more to be given to him each day!
Some adults also have a sense of entitlement. They believe that the government owes them a living, or that their parents should still support them financially, or that their spouse exists to make them happy.
The truth is, we’re entitled to very few things in life, if at all. If we have a sense of entitlement, we’re unlikely to be contented and happy.
5. You don’t manage your emotions well.
Much as kids let the circumstances they are in affect their mood and emotions, they are often not in a position to manage their emotions too.
When my son gets bullied in school, he brings his bad emotions back and start to throw tantrums at home as if the entire world owe him an apology!
Many grown-ups don’t manage their emotions well either. They lash out when they’re frustrated, and speak unkind words when they’re angry.
We all get upset once in a while, but if we don’t make an intentional effort to discipline our emotions and actions, we’ll damage a lot of relationships along the way.
6. You believe that you’re the centre of the universe.
My son seems to believe that his parents are there to provide everything for him no matter how much effort and inconvenience that will cost us. Neither does he show concern for our needs.
But some adults subconsciously believe that they’re the centre of the universe too. They continually focus on their needs, their feelings, their desires, and their rights. Because of their self-centredness, they find it hard to show respect for others and to be socially responsible.
It’s tempting to think self-centred thoughts, so this is an area I’m working on myself. But we must remind ourselves that a meaningful life is one that’s focused on others.
The bottom line
Kids are adorable, and they really are a bundle of joy.
But as we get older, we must ensure that we’re not behaving like big kids who haven’t actually grown up. I’m confident that as we mature, we will naturally learn to master the following traits:
1. Do what we ought to
2. Cultivate a spirit of gratitude
3. Choose to have a good attitude
4. Eliminate our sense of entitlement
5. Manage our emotions6. Focus on the needs of others
… we’ll find the success and fulfillment we’re looking for.
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