Learning to be 'Digital Parents' in the 21st Century

       

Technology has become very much a part of our lives these days. It is a common sight to see children using mobile devices like tablets or mobile phones, and sometimes, they seem more adept at it than adults! As a parent, have you ever encountered dilemmas on how you should educate your child on the use of technology?

The Ministry of Education has organised a seminar on “‘Digital’ Parenting in the 21^st Century” jointly with the Media Development Authority and invited three distinguished speakers. Mr Nicholas Gabriel Lim (Assistant Director of Children-At-Risk Empowerment Association (CARE)), Ms Lai Lei Khim (Acting Director, Outreach, Media Development Authority and Executive Director, Media Literacy Council) and Madam Rashidah Abdul Rasip, Principal of West View Primary School to share with us some useful pointers on this topic.

The three speakers shared insightful parenting skills on how parents could communicate better and build positive relationships with their children by understanding the use of technology, and how they could help their children to navigate cyberspace safely. Mr Nicholas Lim, who is also a psychologist, gave a “brain-science” presentation on how various parts of the brain would process information. He also pointed out that it was important for parents to understand how their children perceive different information, and that this would help parents to find the most effective communication strategy to engage their children and inculcate the right values to them.

The second speaker, Ms Lai Lei Khim, spoke about the role of parents and shared research findings from the Media Literacy Council on how children consumed information from the digital world. Ms Lai highlighted that young children up to 12 years old tended to believe what they see online. However, they would consult their parents if they were unsure of the information. For teenagers and youths, they may not be aware of the importance of privacy and may lack an understanding of the consequences of what they say or do online. Ms Lai also helped parents to understand some of the common media sharing sites, social networks and messaging tools which their children might be using, and the types of information that they might come into contact with online. She also reminded parents that the cyber world was similar to the real world and that parents could put some rules in place so that their children could navigate their way online safely.

Lastly, Madam Rashidah shared how West View Primary School educated its students in becoming responsible users of the internet. She felt that it was important to instil core values such as “respect” and “integrity” as well as online etiquette in students. Madam Rashidah also hoped that parents could work closely with schools to educate their children from young with core values. She added, “If we can ground our students in values, we can trust them wherever they are, whether it is face-to-face interactions or in cyberspace”.



A question-and-answer segment was also held to allow the audience to interact with the guest speakers. Parents were keen to know how they could engage their children who were often glued to their gadgets and computer games. One parent shared that her son, currently a Secondary 3 student, was always on his smart phone and computer, and that gaming was his way of relaxation. She asked how she could engage her son while giving him ample time for his computer games.

Mr Nicholas Lim opined that some time should be set aside for parents to have a dialogue with their children, and that parents could share their concerns about spending too much on such devices. At the same time, parents would also get to know what their children are thinking and their need for personal activities outside of school work. He observed that youths these days want to be able to have a say and to have a listening ear, and that by getting them to engage, they would feel that their parents were making an effort to understand them better.

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Effects of technology on our lives and learning



As we enter the electronic age with the widespread usage of smart phones, tablets and laptops, more learning channels are opened for continuous learning. To a certain extent, these electronic gadgets definitely made learning easier, more engaging and fun. It is simply amazing to see the transformation of these electronic products from their primary function as simple communication tools to include avenues for entertainment, banking, directory and navigation and learning purposes.

 

The most amazing of all is the Mobile Phone Revolution from the simple handheld telephone that enables one to make calls wherever you are to the sophisticated smart phone that can access the internet and equipped with additional capabilities like Bluetooth, Infra-red and GPS tracking functions. Some smart phones like the Samsung Note can even be used as a eReader to read ebooks on the go! What's more, with easy access to free videos on YouTube, many people are also using their smart phones to watch movies or attend e-learning courses!

These technical gadgets are slowly but surely taking over yesteryears' tools of learning such as the dictionary, street directory and translation manual! In some schools in Singapore, the conventional text books are now replaced by tablets like ipad with which more interactive lessons can be conducted both inside and outside the classroom. Schools which had yet to embrace eBooks also introduced e-learning sessions in the classroom to equip their students with basic computer skills and to make the lessons more interesting for them.

In last week's parliament re-opening speech, the Singapore president, Mr Tony Tan Keng Yam also highlighted that the government will leverage technology to develop sustainable and innovative solutions to improve the lives of Singaporeans. Environment and Water Resources Minister, Mr Vivian Balakrishnan also reiterated that technology will be employed to make Singapore’s public services more responsive and citizen-centric.

 

The invasion of the smart phone into the lives of our modern city dwellers is taken to another new height with the widespread use of Mobile Banking with the latest break-through enabling people to transfer funds instantly via their mobile phones.

 

Other aspects of our everyday living being closely intertwined with technology are also on the rise. For example, it is already very common for people to book their movie tickets, air tickets and even medical appointments with their doctors electronically online without leaving the house!
Hence, I believe the quick invasion of technology into our lives will soon render anyone who does not embrace and pick up essential technical skills of digital living quick enough to be a nerd who will be left behind by this growing trend very soon!

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Social and Emotional Learning (SEL)

 

In my opinion, the first step to learning is to inculcate interest in learning through effective motivation. The question is how can one be motivated to learn? Before we can embark on this motivation expedition, we need to identify the factors that can lead to motivation:

 

1. Feelings

 

Social and Emotional Learning (SEL) includes recognizing and understanding emotions, strategies for managing emotions, developing the ability to recognize and understand emotions in others, and strategies for responding to the emotions of others. SEL also includes explicitly teaching and practicing strategies to develop emotional resiliency -- the ability to bounce back after adversity. The feelings and emotional mood swings cannot affect one's motivation to learn.

 

2. Curiosity

 

Once people started noticing and naming their emotions, they get curious about them. They will then investigate and explore. It's not uncommon for people to notice anxiety when talking to another person whom they perceive to be more knowledgeable than themselves.

 

3. Need to learn

 

As we grow, we will gradually realise that we need more and more skills to sail through our lives to pass the new hurdles we meet along the way. This will make us realise the need to learn. 

 

4. Interest to learn

 

Over time, as our life experiences add on and we come into contact with more new things around us, an interest to learn will slowly developed and inspire us to learn more. 

 

5. Consequences/Results of learning

 

When the 'Cause and Effect' syndrome comes into play in some point of our lives and people start to reap some benefits from their previous learning regimes, they will realise the good consequences or results of their learning. Hence, if they love these consequences and wish to continue enjoying them, they will be motivated to continue with their learning journey. 



Another important factor of Social and Emotional Learning is the power of Peer Pressure. The sense of belonging to a group is a strong pulling factor to motivate one to learn and stay as a member in the group in whatever accomplishments the group is set to achieve.

 



The most precious gift of teaching is to inspire a life-long love for learning in the learners. This "love" can only be cultivated by close relationships build up over a substantial period of time through trust between the parties involved.



 



After all, the human race is a social being of which most if not all of us cannot bear to live alone as a society outcast. Hence, as long as we have the sense of belonging in the community we live in and aspire to adhere to the social norms therein, group conformity will continue to motivate us to learn and advance as earth's most intelligent being for many more years to come!

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Education is about learning for life

"Education is about learning for life" - This is the objective and direction that the Singapore Ministry of Education is heading as confirmed by our Education Minister, Mr Heng Swee Kiat in an editorial published in The Straits Times on 12 May 2014.

The minister is debunking the idea among some parents that education equals grades, when in reality, intangibles such as character and values matter a great deal. Mr Heng's emphasis on these qualities is a reminder that grades are a means to the next stage of the education system or to working life; they are not the end of education and certainly not of life.

The purpose of education must lie in providing a sound academic foundation for the development of a rounded and confident individual. Such a person would be capable, not only of participating in the economy as an educated and motivated worker but in society as well, as a thoughtful and engaged citizen. By contrast, an unhealthy fixation with scores limits the mental horizons of even the best students; demoralises those who perform less well; and subjects all to the crushing power of expectations.

There is a danger of producing one-examination wonders - stars who believe that their future is foretold in their success - even as lesser mortals are overwhelmed by the fear of sinking into mediocrity. Singapore's young deserve much better. While meritocracy is essential in education, and while examinations are one way of gauging merit, success in life demands other attributes.

 

Mr Heng also pointed out that he had crossed paths with many top performers at their jobs who did not have top grades. What distinguished them were their leadership skills. This was a good illustration of the point that the key to success lies in picking up and honing skills while meeting challenges, including the ability to get along and work well with others, as well as show empathy for all.

Whether the young view examinations as a part of the process of living and growing up would depend on the support they receive from their parents. If parents themselves see education as a zero-sum game, they are unlikely to inspire their children with a holistic attitude to learning and life.

The truth is that education does not guarantee a good future but should be a good preparation for it. Innovation, creativity, social skills and the ability to learn on the job will be skills demanded even more of all in the years to come. Examination grades will matter only up to a point. High academic standards would continue to be critical but their purpose would be to equip youngsters to meet the evolving challenges of life.

 

The following books can help you to achieve personal excellence

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Linking Success to Happiness



Is success and happiness inter-related? Well, that depends on how a person choose to define success and happiness. Besides, we also need to identify which is the "cause" and which is the effect "effect". That is, does success lead to happiness or happiness lead to success?

 

For many years, critics have advocated that success, whether in school, work or relationships, causes happiness. Many of us strive for success, putting long hours into our work or studies in the hopes of achieving success and, as a by product of that success, happiness.

 

However, a study done a psychologist lately found that happiness doesn’t necessarily follow success. In fact, it’s just the opposite. Happiness leads to success. According to the study’s findings, happy people seek out and undertake new goals that reinforce their happiness and other positive emotions. 

 

These psychological studies had examined questions such as “Are happy people more successful than unhappy people? Does happiness precede success? And does positive effects lead to success-oriented behaviours?” The results from all three types of studies suggest that happiness leads to greater successes in life. 

 

The leading psychologist suggested that this might be because happy people frequently experience positive moods and these positive moods prompted them to be more likely to work actively towards new goals and build new resources. When people feel happy, they tend to feel confident, optimistic, and energetic and others find them likeable and sociable.”

 

This doesn’t mean that happy people are always successful and never feel sad.  Part of a healthy sense of well-being includes experiencing painful emotions in response to difficult and painful life circumstances.  These studies found that even generally happy people experienced negative emotions related to challenging or painful life experiences. Other factors also contribute to success, including intelligence, fitness, social support and expertise. 

But, the general conclusion of the study showed that happy individuals are more likely than their less happy peers to have fulfilling marriages and relationships, high incomes, superior work performance, community involvement, robust health and even a long life.

Strategies for Greater Happiness

In my opinion, I felt that one can become a happier person by adopting the following strategies:

Be grateful.

Be optimistic.

Count your blessings.

Use your strengths.

Act kindly.

 

 

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Good Customer Service brings happiness to others

Good customer service spreads happiness! Delivering customer service is a basic form of human interaction and this very act can certainly spread happiness to customers when it is done properly.

If service is defined as the act of fulfilling a customer's requirements with an action he/she needs and/or wants, the quality of this act will be construed as the degree at which its delivery has met the expectations of the customer. If the service is delivered just the way that the customer likes it to be, it will be graded as GOOD and the customer being served will naturally be HAPPY.

In my opinion, the definition of good customer service is very subjective as it depends largely on the expectations of individual customers although there are some general rules or traits as mentioned below:

 

Every one of us have been customers of some service providers from time to time and do have our fair share of good and poor customer service experiences. Being humans with emotions and feelings, the way we are being treated/served can surely make a difference in the way we react and respond to the service interaction and in turn affect our mood swings after that.

 

A good customer service experience makes us feel good not only about ourselves but also the service provider and the community or society we live in. One good experience I have encountered years ago when I was queuing  to order a set meal at Mc Donalds when my son was still a baby had touched my heart so much that I can still remember it clearly up till today. The lady who served me not only offered to carry the food tray for me to an empty table nearby after the order was done but also poured some warm water for me to make milk for my baby without me requesting!  The experience not only makes me felt privileged but also rejoice that the world is such a nice place to live in with such kind people around! I am sure the lady who serve me as well as the organisation she works in also share the same joy and happiness.

 

 

 

 

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Deriving Happiness from the things we love to do

The simplest way to make ourselves happy is to do the things that we love. Generally, most people enjoy doing things that they are good at and would not mind doing them repeatedly. The tasks are usually easy feats for them and can be completed very quickly with no or little difficulties and the completion of such tasks never fail to give them a sense of satisfaction and feeling of self-fulfilment and happiness.

Interest is an important element in whatever we do. If one is interested in the task to be done, one will naturally like to perform it and derive happiness in the process of its performance. The other factor is a person's aptitude and ability to perform the tasks concerned. If one is gifted in a unique way to perform any unusual or non easy feat, it will be a breeze for him/her even if it may seem to be a very difficult job for any other person.

    

Another important factor not to be missed is for one to enjoy the things that he/she is doing. Once you enjoy what you are doing, you will find happiness and will not mind performing it repeatedly to keep yourself happy!






 

 

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Self Acceptance is Happiness

 

I believe that a person's life only starts when he/she begins to recognise, acknowledge and accept himself/herself as the person that god has created him to be. He is not perfect but blessed with a set of strengths and weaknesses for which he can work to make the best out of them and be the happy person he aspire to be.

 



The world is not a perfect place, neither is anyone else around us. Those who strived to achieve perfection in their life are planting the roots of unhappiness for themselves. Hence, in my opinion, the happiest people are those who embrace their strengths and strive to overcome their weaknesses to make the best of what they have.

       

 



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Satisfaction leads to happiness

A satisfied customer is a happy customer, so the saying goes! Hence, a person who is satisfied with most aspects of his life can be considered a happy person.

How then do we define satisfaction and its relationship with needs and expectations? In life, everyone of us is bound to set his/her own 'standard' or 'target' that he/she wants to achieve. Once a person perceives that this pre-set standard or target has been attained, he/she is deemed to have achieved his/her "Satisfaction Level" in life.  Generally, most people would regard a SATISFIED person to be a HAPPY person too.

However, satisfaction and happiness can have different meanings to different people. To those who are easily contented with simple and basic needs, they are satisfied easily and hence are happier than others who needs more to achieve satisfaction.

           

The philosophy of life satisfaction is also closely linked to the upbringing of the individual, the environment he/she grows up and his/her general outlook in life. In addition, the nature of the life experiences people have been through can also influence the way they view life satisfaction and happiness.

By and large, I felt that Life Satisfaction can be achieved through having good Emotional Well-being and favourable Life Evaluation. Emotional well-being refers to the emotional quality of an individual’s everyday experiences - the frequency and intensity of experiences of joy, stress, sadness, anger, and affection that make one’s life pleasant or unpleasant. Life evaluation, on the other hand, refers to the thoughts that people have about their life when they think about it. When a person finds both his/her emotional well-being and life evaluation at any point in his/her life at a level he/she desires or set to reach, he/she can be considered as a satisfied person and with feelings of happiness.

Happy feelings are associated with “the fulfilment of psychological needs: learning, autonomy, using one’s skills, respect, and the ability to count on others in an emergency.” Although a good chunk of happiness is controlled by our genes, we can take certain simple actions to satisfy ourselves and achieve happiness. Some of these actions are:

1. Be grateful for whatever we already have
Showing gratitude for the good things you have is the most powerful happiness boosting  activity.

2. Do what you are good at as often as possible

Most people enjoy doing things that they are good at and would not mind doing it repeatedly. The tasks are usually easy feats for him/her and can be completed very quickly with no or little difficulties and the completion of such tasks never fail to give him/her a sense of satisfaction and feeling of self-fulfilment and happiness.

3. Spend as much time as possible with people we like
Relationship building is key to a satisfied and happy life. Hence, we should spend as much time as possible with people we like and this great feeling of belongingness is almost impossible to replace.

4. Stay healthy
A healthy lifestyle gives us a healthy body which enables us to pursue whatever we want in life. Being free from illnesses and the ability to perform all types of activities can definitely give us great life satisfaction and happiness.

5. Give and share whatever we have with others
Giving makes us happier than receiving. In fact, it can create a feedback loop of happiness in your life. Volunteering makes us happier and can therefore be the most selfless way to be selfish. Helping others reach their goals brings joy. Doing nice things for others today can literally make you happier for the rest of the week.

6. Take time to enjoy the good things in life

• Positive mental time travel: Happy memories or looking forward to something

• Being present: Not letting your mind wander and being absorbed in the moment.

Savouring is one of the secrets of the happiest people. Focusing on the limited time you have in this life is a good way to remind you to savour what is important.

7. Strive to do your best in all your endeavours
Most people don’t usually do what brings them joy, they are more likely to do what is easy. Set ambitious goals and strive. Thinking about what happens to you in terms of your self-esteem will crush you — look at life as a growing and learning process.

Sitting on the couch watching TV does not make you happy. You are happier when you are busy and will probably have more fun at work than at home. Thinking and working can beat sad feelings. A wandering mind is not a happy mind. Mastering skills is stressful in the short term and happiness-boosting in the long term.

8. Be optimistic at all times
Thinking happy thoughts, giving hugs and smiling can keep one happy.

People with positive illusions about their relationship are more satisfied, score higher on love and trust and have fewer problems.

• Overconfidence increases productivity and improves teamwork.
• "Self-deception has been associated with stress reduction, a positive self-bias and increased pain tolerance, all of which could enhance motivation and performance during competitive tasks."

Lots of little good things is the path to happiness. All you need is frequent boosts of little good things and not rare big stuff. For the most part, don't bother to try and reduce the bad so much as you increase the good. Hence, stop thinking about big events that might make you thrilled — it’s the little things of everyday life that adds up to our satisfaction and make lasting improvements to our life.

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